Potty Training

Well we finally broke down and decided it was time to do it.  Yes I am talking about potty training James.  About a year ago (before we found out about the autism) I bought him some underwear determined to have him potty trained by the time he was 3.  That didn't happen.  I decided he wasn't ready.  Then we found out about the autism and everyone told me it was OK that kids with autism potty trained later.  So I didn't worry about it.  I decided we would wait until he was ready.  Now he is 3 and 1/2 and no closer to being potty trained than the day he was born.  So I decided it was time to force the issue.  

I bought all the supplies: New underwear (the ones I bought a year ago are now too small), pull-ups (which I said we would never use but what can you do)  bathroom toys (this may be the most important thing because I have to keep him in the bathroom somehow) and an awesome reward to have ready for the first time he actually pees on the toilet (forced or not).  

A week ago I decided that when we were home he would be wearing underwear. Period.  When he was napping or out in public he would wear a pull-up.  At night he could still wear a diaper.  Over all the last week has been very educational...for me.

After the first day I decided that if I was going to be able to see this through without getting discouraged and putting the diapers back on I would need to set some reasonable goals.  So these are the three goals I set to be accomplished in the first 2 weeks of potty training.

1. To have a schedule of when he goes.  Then I can make a schedule of when we need to be in the bathroom.

2. To have James start to recognize when he is wet.

3. To have 1 successful pee in the toilet.  

James "Going Potty"

The first 3 days were AWFUL!  James fought everything.  He didn't want the underwear.  Then he didn't want diapers.  He didn't want to be in the bathroom.  He didn't want to sit on the toilet.  He screamed.  He cried.  I almost gave up so many times thinking, "I'll just wait until he is more ready" then realizing that might not happen.  That no matter how old he gets potty training will still be a terrible experience for us both.  The big surprise here was how jealous Mikey got.  So James was upset because he didn't want to go potty, Mikey was upset because James was getting all the attention and I was upset because having to very upset boys can really wear on you!

After 3 days things got easier (for James, Mikey is still upset about the whole thing).  We could spend longer in the bathroom.  He will sit on the toilet.  He has accepted the underwear.  He is much happier.  But he still pees in his pants and doesn't realize it.  Well actually he does realize it but seems to like the sensory input he gets from it.  Around this time I also made a discovery.  James will not pee or poop without a diaper or underwear on.  Since I realized that, I also realized I don't think I have EVER seen him do it.  So I tested it.  We went in the bathroom, stripped down and turned the sink on for him to play in.  I figured with the running water he would HAVE to pee.  Nope.  He crossed his legs.  He danced.  He panicked when a little came out.  But he did not pee.  So I left him naked thinking after the dance he was doing it wouldn't be long until he had to pee.  I was wrong again.  An hour and a half later I put some clothes on him and he immediately peed!  Last night I tried it again.  After his nap I left him naked at 3:30 in the afternoon.  Finally around 7:30 he couldn't hold it any longer.  4 hours that kid held it!  Today I asked his OT about it and he said that it was most likely a sensory issue.  There are tons of sensory issues we have to get over when potty training.  His advice: the more he does it the more used to it he will get.  So we need to leave him naked more so he can get used to peeing without clothes on.  

I am feeling better about things now.  It has been a week and I have seen some progress.  We may not reach all of our goals by next week but we are way further than we were a week ago!  The biggest thing is James is actually interested in the toilet.  He is starting to mimic what he has seen and he will actually sit on the toilet.  We will see where we are in another week. And just maybe, by the time he is 4 we can have him potty trained.